Day 11 of my prison sentence...breaking out today!

Well, I have about had it with staying home and not driving. The dr. told me I could drive after 7 days and then I looked at the hospital instructions and they said it has to be 10. So, not wanting to get sued (in case of accident) I decided I would tough it out. Anything, almost, sounds good to do. I must admit that I feel very fortunate that I don't have a job I have to get time off from. That's a good thing.

I just talked to the nurse and asked if I could, at least, please please lift over 10 lbs. for the next 6 weeks (more like 5 now, thank goodness). She said in a deadpan voice, "What do you want to pick up that's over 10 lbs.?" I said, "My cat. She weighs 15 lbs." She said, "Why?" I said, hopefully, "Because I'm the one that really does things with her...like bringing her up to feed her." She said, "Can't you feel her in the basement?" Well, there was no talking this lady into this. Drat. She's too good of a nurse (remember the old time nurses at school that wouldn't let you go out to play when you really really wanted to and had a few crusted over chicken poxes?). Oh well. I tried, Kitty.

At least I'm getting better at things on the computer and I'm trying to relearn my Spanish-plus learn Italian so we can go on our canceled trip to Italy. Aren't I a great Pollyana?

You may think that I really AM nuts when you see the photo below but we had just come across the old silverware. I couldn't believe it but one of the old sterling silver spoons was in the collection-worn down and jagged at the tip from digging in the garden. I just can't believe we did those things. We did. Carrie and I spent many hours alone while our mom worked in the '60's. This was our delinquent behavior-our, now a days, would have been, doing drugs. Harmless, I'm sure you are thinking BUT look where it led too. Parents take note. You too could have lost or ruined silverware because of leaving your kids during the day while you work. My mom was lucky. This was about as bad as it got.

Okay, at this point I just went plain old nuts

I don't want to keep you waiting

So, I promised you this story about the @#! doll and my sister, Carrie. Brother, after 9 years of dealing with care centers and retirement homes with our mother we have had it. I can't count how many times we have had to go into her apartment in the retirement home to clean and organize it from top to bottom. The usual drill is that Suzanne and I spend 1 or 2 days of this-while Carrie takes Mom to her house and keeps her entertained for the night. I don't know which is the worst job. Suzanne and I have laughed ourselves to death (our defense mechanism) but it really is the pits!

Anyone that has gone through this can tell you that it's a case of you try, then you try, then you try some more, and more but you still can't make things work. It is SO stressful. I bet every 6 months we have had to reevaluate it all (should we move her? she might die! should we keep her here? she will burn down the building! let's keep her here? she loves it! let's just not think about it today....too depressing).

So, you are looking at a very stressed group of individuals....namely Suzanne, Carrie, my brother, John and I. We try so hard to get things figured out but it's hard. Everyone tries in their own way to make it work but John lives out of state and Carrie is far away. Sometimes we get a little crabby.

That's what I'm leading up to. Now our mother has to stay in a long term care facility (old time nursing care made to sound sweet). We are faced with all this stuff AGAIN that we have to go through but it has to really be pared down to, like, almost nothing. Add to that that we have been constantly faced with the fact that we're the grownups now. It's sad to go through the old pictures and realize that things really will never be the same again.

I was quite put upon and grumpy the last time the 3 of us did the pack, sort, etc. Carrie got there first and I snapped. She snapped. We cried, hugged and then decided that we'd had it. Just handy, right then, was the @#! doll. We took out our frustrations and vengeance on it. It was very satisfying but after about a week we decided to take it down. It really doesn't look good for the manager to show the apartment when there's a murdered doll on the wall.

So, I have to admit that I have felt at times that a bolt of lightening is going to strike us all down because we deserve it for being naughty like kids. But for those of you that might judge us as rotten children try to go through this without losing your mind occasionally. We learned early on in life, through our childhood trials, that laughter gets you through and sometimes (+#@! doll ) it proves to be a great healer. Okay....old cliche here..."Laughter is the BEST medicine". We do that a lot and believe me there is PLENTY to laugh about in this situation.

Okay I'm home now

So, I had my operation and I'm recovering at home. Because the dr. could do microscopic surgery I only have an incision that is about 2 inches long. It's unbelievable that I could be on the mend so soon after surgery but I am. It's so hard for me to lay around most of the day. Sitting is the worst and I shouldn't even be sitting at this computer for long at all because I will pay for it. I have my broken china hearts that haven't been finished sitting on the counter and every once in a while I walk by them. Then I pick up the Exacto knife and scrape off some grout that didn't get whiped off. This gives me some satisfaction at least. Thank goodness the weather is nice because I can go outside for a little walk (I stress little because I can't overdo).

So, what else is ocupying my mind? My mom in the care center and my father-in-law that needs to go to a care center. I talk with so many people my age that are going through the same guilt producing experience. It's just awful but our parents are living way longer these days. Unfortunately medical science hasn't caught up with the quality aspect of the longevity. I'm hoping they will get that down by the time Chris and I are old. I don't want to burden my kids.

My journey with my mom started probably 9 years ago-at least my journey with retirement homes and care centers. It has been a rocky one to say the least. When we got her into the retirement home we had to give away her dog and cat. Now if that didn't make us feel like dirty dogs I don't know what else would.....well there were plently of those nasty little circumstances to come up. I won't share with the world some of the yuckier ones but I will tell you that we have tried and tried and tried to keep her in the retirement home. Probably every 6 months, at least, my sisters, brother and I torture ourselves with wondering what to do with her. We have done everything possible to keep her where she loves being. But with these oldsters you try and try...then try some more and you wonder why you can't fix the problem. Well, you just can't. Eventually my mom fell and broke her hip about 5 years ago. Then last fall she broke her wrist. Then her leg. Each time we had successfully helped her to transition into St. Joseph's Villa care center. Then we successfully got her back to the Parklane retirement home. Each time she progressivly has gone down hill. Now she's in there for good. Not only that but she's in long term care (full nursing). But this lady rallies! We never thought she would walk again but she is with a walker. That's the stage we're at right now.

Okay, my back hurts. Time to walk around.

Next time: The exciting episodes of cleaning my mom's apartment and what treasures we beheld. Bonus story: How my sister and I got into a fight, then stabbed the #@#! doll.

Since I haven't written for a while....I better do it!

Well, I don't know when I can get back to this because....ta da....I have to have back surgery tomorrow. After a long time going to the chiropractor and physical therapy I decided (at Chris' urging) to get an MRI. Low and behold I have a cyst on my spine. Because it's causing me a great deal of pain in my lower back, right hip and down my right leg I've decided I should just go for it and git 'er done. The cyst squeezes on the sciatic nerve and that's what is causing a lot of the problems. I'm thinking that so many years of sitting at the dental lab working was not good for me at all. I'm wondering if this is work related. Thank goodness I don't have to worry about that anymore since I'm not employed by Arrowhead Dental Lab now.

So, that brings me back to what I'm doing these days to try and earn money-namely my broken china mosaic hearts. I posted a close up view of one of my most complicated ones. Now I'm going to throw in a few pics of some of the others. I'm not sure if I explained this before in my earlier post but each one is named after a famous herione in literature. So, they have special meaning. The close up heart represented Meg March from "Little Women". I thought this would be such an easy task as there are thousands of worthy women to enjoy reading about. BUT (a huge but) I soon realized that I have to worry about copyright infringement. So, needless to say, I've had to research my subjects well and try to keep to the later 1800's and early 1900's-trying not to have anything too current. I would love to work on getting some approval from more recent authors but I will have to see to that later.

I'm not too great at placing the photos in my blog yet sooooo please forgive me.